Somebody Has to Go First

Hey Chip, I did something in our men’s group last week that I want to tell you about.

I handed every man in the room a blank piece of paper and asked them to write two things: their name and their phone number. That’s it. Then I collected them all.

On the way out, I asked each man to grab one of those papers. A name and a number that probably wasn’t the guy they came in with, and maybe someone they didn’t know.

The assignment was simple. For the next two weeks, focus on that one person. Call them. Text them something encouraging. Schedule a breakfast or a coffee. Whatever it looks like, just have a conversation with that person. Build something real.

These are grown men. Leaders, husbands, fathers, business owners, some retired, others still building something big. And as they were walking out, I could hear a few of them already connecting with the person whose name they’d drawn.

Right there in the room, they just moved toward each other. That was encouraging to me, because it confirmed something I already believed: people are ready for this. They just need someone to go first.

That’s the thing about connection. It’s not complicated, and it doesn’t require a program, a conference, or a twelve-step blueprint. It requires a decision. Someone has to be willing to move toward another person instead of waiting for it to happen on its own.

And most people are starving for it.

I don’t care if you’re 35 or 65. I don’t care how full your calendar is or how many people you talked to last week. There is a difference between being around people and really getting to know people—and being known—and most of us are running hard on the first one while running empty on the second.

You were made for more than that. You’re not done yet, not even close. And the next step might be a lot simpler than you think.

So here’s my question for you: if you could sit across from one person this week and be completely real about where you are and who you are, who would it be?

I’m guessing you already know who that is.

Call them. Text them. Set up breakfast, coffee, whatever works. Just take the step. Don’t wait for the perfect time, because there isn’t one. Don’t wait for them to reach out first. Somebody has to go first.

Let it be you.