For a while now, we’ve heard recommendations about being responsible for how we show up with customers, co-workers and colleagues, friends, and family. It’s a game-changer and demonstrates you own your style, approach, and identity. But maybe it’s time for a change of focus.
These are some of the traits of showing up well:
- Being fully present.
- Actively listening and being curious.
- Learning to be intentional.
- Sharing passion and truth.
- Establishing a mission-minded approach.
But in recent weeks and months, I’m learning it’s just as important where you show up. Where, because that determines how you show up. Think about that. If you’re amongst your people, who bring passion, connection, innovation, and challenge, you are much more present. That’s your Fab 5, and you know how to show up. But your responsibility doesn’t end there. Some people aren’t necessarily peers who need you to show up — in a different, perhaps more powerful way.
It’s just a light change of focus. And it can feel very defeating if you show up to be refilled and end up being the one expected to fill. It’s all about expectations. So, where you show up determines how you show up. You show up differently with your Fab 5 and other people in your sphere of influence. If you think about it, Jesus showed up differently with his inner circle of Peter, James, and John than he did with the other disciples.
Then, there are the places you don’t need to show up at all — and don’t need to keep showing up. It’s hard to fulfill how you show up if you’re showing up in the wrong place or at the wrong time. Or if you’re showing up at a place that doesn’t match your passions, goals, dreams, and mission.
I had this conversation of sorts with two fellow coaches recently. We discussed a place we had been together and how it impacted us. For me, it was a “meh experience,” and one conclusion was that you get out of it what you put into it. Indeed, that is very true. But if your passion and mission are elsewhere, it’s hard to get fired up. Likewise, you will leave unfulfilled if your approach is off the mark. In this case, I don’t need to be showing up in this place for this season. It’s not a knock on the place, just a recognition of the season I am walking in.
So, where are you showing up, and how does that line up with your passion, goals, and mission? Do you know what your mission is? Do you get up every morning and hit the ground running on your mission? Or do you get up in the morning with an “oh, no” or “woe is me” sentiment?
Where do you get refired to fill, connect, inspire and encourage? It will make all the difference.
Indeed, every meeting, call, experience, and interaction is not a refilling station. It still needs to match your mission and passion. You and I are called to refill others, which can dictate where you show up. But, again, in that case, where you show up determines how you show up.
One final thought: As I mentioned above, seasons of life can dictate where you show up. The places you showed up six months ago may be different this season and shouldn’t bring condemnation or discontent. For example, if you need to take a break from a group (at church, work, family), you should feel free to do that confidently and without judgment. Seasons change, and you shouldn’t feel stuck because they do.
So let’s review. Where you show up determines how you show up. Are you showing up to a place requiring you to be a Paul, a Barnabas, or a Timothy? Or any combination of the three? That place will help you determine how to show up, and you’ll be rewarded and blessed accordingly.
So, here are some questions for you today to help your change of focus.
- What could change if you evaluated where you are showing up today?
- How would that “where” change your approach or preparation?
- Where are you showing up that you shouldn’t be showing up?
- Where are you showing up that you feel out of sorts or discombobulated?
- What “where” do you need to adjust for a season?