There will always be fires and storms and dragons, especially the ones you don’t see coming. ~John Delony.
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. Come on, you know it.
In the past few weeks, I have carelessly stepped on some land mines that have — at the very least — led to detours, frustration, and angst. I caught my foot on a pillow, tripped, and fell while changing a light build. I cut my finger with a new bread knife while trying to cut a fresh loaf of warm bread Elizabeth had just baked.
The fall led to a doctor’s visit, a CT scan of the head (no, there’s nothing up there!), and a bout with vertigo, and the cut required some TLC for a few days. I’ve also been stuck in some indecisiveness regarding some significant matters. Stuck by my own choice.
The problem with land mines is that they are all around us. Life is that way. The more significant issue, though, is that we set up some of these landmines ourselves with our thinking, carelessness, recklessness, or short-sightedness.
Here are just a few of the land mines that will derail your life — and what you can do about them.
COMPARISON. We all step on this landmine from time to time. Someone will always have a better house, job, and kids; someone will always have more money, better health, and be more spiritual — until you take a peak behind the veil and see it’s just not true. We spend more time trying to be someone else than we spend being ourselves. Elie Wiesel says that when you get to heaven, God will ask you one question: “Why didn’t you become you? Why didn’t you become all that you are?” What’s your response to that question?
INDECISIVENESS. This landmine is ancient. And it’s the land mine we set up in various areas of our lives — to the extent that it becomes a trap. It will rob you of opportunity, peace, and success. We sit and wait, and it will derail us every time. Get out of the middle of the road. Check out THIS.
PEOPLE PLEASING. We all step on this one occasionally as we’re tempted to keep up with… If this is you, you may not even realize it. Dr. Adam Borland says, “People-pleasers may put themselves in difficult situations or take on unnecessary responsibilities in order to gain others’ affection and approval.” People pleasing is often the result of low self-esteem, depression, difficulty with self-expression, or the desire to avoid conflict. Can you identify?
CHOICES. This may be the subject of my next book. Our choices make or break us — and that process sometimes paralyzes us. Do your due diligence, get counsel, and then make the decision. It’s not just about making the decision (pulling the trigger); it’s also about making the right decision. We often know what that is, and we go in another direction. Are we scared of success? Find someone or someones with whom you can enjoy the ride.
AVOIDANCE. What are you avoiding? Could you stop for a minute here? What hard conversation, what next step, what doctor’s appointment, what decision are you avoiding? Chris Williamson says, “The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding.” Answer that question — what are you avoiding — and you may find that magic.
TRIVIAL PURSUITS. Here’s another one we all step on daily — staying busy with meaningless activity. Activity does not equate to progress. Trivial pursuits are the Great Conqueror of dreams and plans. We have become the Great Arsonist of our time. We keep pouring fuel on the fire of our lives, hoping to start a fire that others will come and watch. The big question: What do you need to disappear from for the next three months that will give you more time, more margin, and more space in your life? More to come next week on this.
DOING IT ALONE. My friend Derick Kopp likes to share this quote: If you want to go faster, go alone. If you want to go farther, go together.” You need community. Did you know that adding the right people and the right community can add years to your life? It’s a fact and proven out. Check out THIS.
PERSPECTIVE. Another land mine that is entirely in your control. You can remove it today. Right now. Stay off the internet: You don’t need to know what Dr. Google says or what your neighbor is doing. Leave social media, Fox, and CNN alone for a day and watch your outlook change. Almost instantly, you’ll begin to see things differently. Life is how you see it, plain and simple — and it’s a choice. Check out THIS.
Land mines are inevitable, but we can learn to minimize many of them and avoid others by overcoming our own minds, planning ahead, and eliminating the enemy within us.