“Show respect, even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” —Dave Willis.
John Maxwell’s lesson on High Road Leadership at the recent John Maxwell International Conference made you stop a
nd think. Take a look at what he said.
Notice that last line: “Jesus values people I don’t like.” It doesn’t say that Jesus likes people I don’t like. It doesn’t say that Jesus values only those in my circle. It says that Jesus values people I don’t like.
So, if I want to be like Jesus, I must value them too.
That means listening to them, hearing what they say, and even what they don’t say. Take a deep breath; it’s going to be okay.
I must admit, I’ve failed several times in this area. Recently, there was the cashier at Costco, and Elizabeth will tell you that I haven’t always valued drivers on the highway. Gulp! Ouch!
Do you value everyone—especially those people you don’t particularly like? You know who I’m talking about! They’re arrogant, talk too much, or maybe you consider them less than, or there’s no reciprocation on their part.
Everyone has someone they don’t particularly care for, click with, or like. Can you be intentional about facing this challenging person this week? Valuing people you don’t like can be a bit thorny, but it’s crucial for maintaining professionalism, fostering positive relationships, and personal growth—not to mention genuine respect and consideration.
Here are the top five ways to value people, even when you don’t naturally connect with them:
Practice Active Listening.
- Focus and Understand. Even when you don’t agree with someone, actively listening to them without interrupting shows respect. In other words, bite your tongue and zip your lips! This helps you understand their perspective, which can reduce tension and improve communication.
- Treat Everyone Equally. Regardless of your personal feelings, it is crucial to treat everyone with the same level of respect. This means being polite and professional and avoiding negative behavior that could damage relationships.
- Focus on the Person, Not the Emotion. When you separate personal feelings from professional interactions, it’s easier to value what someone brings to the table, even if you don’t particularly like their personality.
- Acknowledge Their Contributions. It is essential to recognize someone’s skills, efforts, or successes, even if you don’t like them personally. Genuine appreciation can build mutual respect, even in complicated relationships.
- Spend Quality Time Together. Investing time in relationships shows you value the connection, whether in a professional setting or personal life. Offer Support in Tough Times. Being there for people during their challenges shows you value them beyond their successes.
Now, here’s a challenge for you!
Think of that person who is lowest on your totem pole. God not only loves them, He values them. He thinks they’re pretty cool and has a plan for them, just like He does for you. Part of your plan may be becoming part of their plan.
What can you do today—right now—to show them that you value them? You can send a handwritten card or note, prepare a meal, surprise them with acts of kindness, invite them to coffee or lunch, or ask them, “What can I do for you today?”
It’s up to you, and the best time is right now.